I am not a man. I am a WOman. Therefore I do not understand YOU or what it is like to be you.
In the same way….you do not know what it is to be woman. Just as white has never felt the intensity of being raised black in America…or Muslim in middle East is unaware of what it is to love Jesus there…or Christian’s in America unaware of how they cast that same judgement onto Muslims in America simply because….YOU DO NOT KNOW and HAVE NOT BEEN THEM and are NOT ON THEIR JOURNEY.
I don’t know men. But they have been brothers to me. Best friends. I was raised surrounded by them…competing with them…wrestling with my brothers and cousins, building forts with them…I would grow up to work next to them…working with them in fire departments, running into burning buildings with them, sailing oceans with them, sleeping next to them on the bows of ships in Africa with them, hike volcano’s with them in the Canary Islands, been partners with them on the ambulance and trusted them with split second decisions in team-work that saved lives. I have climbed rock faces with them and trusted my life in their hands…
They have been lovers. Sexuality is a programmed thing. Hormones are something I’m not a fan of…too much EMOTION pent up in strange chemicals that can affect someone’s ability to operate RATIONALLY….in my objective opinion. Men…are…a mystery. I am not a man. And as far as sexuality is concerned, despite my tomboy-sporty-spice outsides, I’m the straightest arrow I’ve ever met. Heterosexual … his man pheromones are like an intoxicating cocktail I don’t even intend on getting drunk on…yet somehow there is this animal attraction…this HUMAN thing. It is obnoxious. Because quite frankly men irk me….so it is annoying to have an animal attraction to something I often desire to headbutt. When it works as it should? I’m told its great….
But what does that mean? “As it should?” Because I think that’s gray area…and nobody really knows.
They have been monsters. No woman has ever held a knife to my throat. No woman has ever held me at gunpoint. No woman has ever assaulted me outside of that lesbian who spit in my face when I told her she needed to treat her girlfriend like a human and not a belonging. HA! No woman has ever choked me till the world went away, pinned me down, ripped my clothes off of me, sodomized me, hand on throat “What makes you think you are in control?” AKA…no woman has ever ripped my soul open, spit on it, defecated on it, and left it for dead. – the most owned, humiliated, disgusted, dead on my insides happened when man reduced me to toy. When my words were background noise and not heard. – Happens all the time. And the perpetrator’s look like your best friends, your uncles, your store clerk…. wolf in sheep’s clothing. Men can be sheep dogs or predators, I suppose…If you are a man and not quite sure where you lie, perhaps you should try to figure it out.
Violence seems something men are better at doing than women. – Tho I’m beginning to learn women can be just as much predators.
Boys: Fight and fuck. Men: Love protect and nurture. Boys: Get jealous, greedy, want to OWN. Men: Are empathetic and have gained compassion. EMOTIONALLY MATURE. (Don’t be upset men…same goes for girls, we can be a nasty breed as well….perhaps my next blog post will be a note to women).
I love men, I can’t stand boys…especially the ones that look like adults….What are YOU? Don’t forget it’s never too late to grow up and figure it out.