13. Self Loathing

Loose cannon,
loose cannon,
just doing my best with the hand
I was handed.

PTSD has been a real bitch to me.  Depression and anxiety are nemesis I have to battle daily.  Addiction has been the biggest devil on my shoulder.  There were moments survival looked a lot like dying!  ITS ALL RIGHT IN MY FACE RIGHT NOW.

Self loathing is a weed I’M UPROOTING.  I know when and where it was planted, I can have compassion for my journey and validate myself.

This is how I am combating it:  When I have negative self talk or start to ruminate on a past mistake or am struggling with flashbacks, I look at it as a little invisible battle that is taking place behind the scenes.  As soon as I identify it, I do my best to karate chop it with the truth.   For example, I trip over my feet, and I typically say something myself along the lines of, “Dammit, Emma, you clumsy bitch, you are so embarrassing,”  BUT THEN I STOP MID SENTENCE AND KARATE CHOP THAT BAD THOUGHT and replace it with “Emma, you are not always the most graceful but you land softly….”  😉

Watch the following video by Kati Morton, a Youtuber helping save the world, one video at a time, and what her suggestions are for dealing with self hate.  She’s got some helpful suggestions.



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