Fish Bowl

I had a dream one night
that gave me a
deep
deep
fright
Felt like a I just might
be wound so tight I’ll explode.
I’ve reached my threshold…
The thing bout this dream
is it kept on happening.
Had to see it
and repeat
and repeat it
left me feeling all defeated
and incomplete.

 

I used to have a recurring dream when I was young. In it I had a fishbowl…and it exploded open out of nowhere, and sent these fish on the ground to flounder…I rushed to the scene in a a PANIC that has been familiar throughout my life, trying to save all of my dying fish…but as my fish were flopping in the broken glass and bouncing mercilessly off the jagged edges of the fish bowl’s coral…in walked my kittens.

I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED MY CATS.  And suddenly my cats were trying to eat my…. fish play…. they wandered into the room and were mesmerized by watching them flop around, oblivious to their plight, more intent on playing with them….I couldn’t keep them safe.  I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO KEEP ANYTHING SAFE.

I COULDN’T KEEP MY DOG ABBY SAFE.

So now I’m working double time, gathering my flopping fish trying to put them into  water before they they died….WHEN THE DOGS COME IN.

The dogs wanted the cats….so I was trying to protect my fish from the cats, and the cats from the dogs…but then THE BEAR CAME IN, and they wanted the dogs…AND THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH OF ME TO KEEP EVERYONE SAFE FROM EACH OTHER.

And somewhere around this time I would wake up exhausted.

At thirty eight, half my life time later…I realize… I CANNOT SAVE YOU FROM YOURSELVES, that is something you have to do.  Just like…me…I will or I won’t.  I’ll figure it out.

 

 

 

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