I asked someone on facebook this question a couple months ago, if they believed in God. “Ef no. I’m not crazy.” He answered.
It was an honest answer. It’s a double edged sword…because on one token he’s calling me crazy, because I do believe in God…though the truth is I unwittingly (without trying to be judgemental) thought people that couldn’t see there is a grand design to this world and believe in God were the crazy ones. If you can’t see there is more to life than meets the eye, maybe your life is missing out on something. I look at the mountains surrounding me in Clark Fork, the occasional herd of elk or white tail deer, or beer or moose…and it gives me that same sense of…being a part of something bigger than myself.
“Why do YOU believe in God.” My friend asked.
“My God moments.” I answered.
“What’s a God moment?” He asked.
“God moments are those moments that happen and you sit back and think….wow….God. Cause nothing else really explains it.”
There were times I didn’t believe in God. I couldn’t believe that a loving God would have anything to do with this violent world. But my lack of belief came in short lived moments that looked like having my back to a wall and crumbling to the floor in heaving sobs when life was overwhelming. It’s my faith that is giving me the strength to stand back up and PUSH FORWARD. I only know my life and my life’s experiences and what they have taught me… But truth is that I’ve had one too many God moment and experienced one too many “coincidences” to not believe. I stopped looking for answers and solace in the world around me and my friends are family, and started seeking them from God. I stopped listening to what man was feeding me, and began listening to what God was telling me. He has given us senses so we can use them! What you see, hear, smell, touch, experience … what are you hearing? What has life taught you? It’s taught me: there is more to this life than meets the eye.
I call myself a heathen Christian (I got the term “heathen” from Anne of Green Gables…). I was born in a Christian box, so I was born speaking Jesus. Some people are born in Muslim boxes and some in Buddhist boxes, some in Science-based boxes and some make a religion out of proving their IS NO GOD. I don’t care what box you were born into, to be human is to be a spiritual being but we are the limited ones…God can speak all languages, find us when we are so lost we can’t see a tomorrow…you just have to LEARN TO LISTEN.
The best thing to ever happen to my faith happened when I took the lid of my religious box – I was getting tripped up on the details…but I realized, it is ALRIGHT TO NOT KNOW THE DETAILS. The Devil is in the details…and he’s used them to divide a world. I don’t care if Mary was a virgin (that only seemed possible if Aliens were involved lol), I don’t care if Noah had an Ark, I don’t know if Jesus was a God or a man…I believe in him NO LESS by not knowing the details. I have come to the conclusion that many of our religious texts are simply history books coming from different perspectives, and much of the problems I had with religion is that I was getting humanity’s battle against their own morality with God’s love. I don’t have any answers other than…. I love Jesus. And God forgives my questioning mind…he made me this way…The details distracted me from the MESSAGE and the MESSAGE was what Jesus stood for…LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
In the process of gardening: The religion root, that weed planted in dysfunction in a church outsiders called a cult: uprooted. I’m replacing it with the seed religion was invalidating: JESUS.