43. I’m a ghoul!

“I’m a ghoul!”  I would say to my brother, FRUSTRATED.

“A GIRL”  He would correct.  My brother was definitely smarter than I was.  He was taller.  He was faster.  We would play chess and after the third time he beat me I would ususally get so flustered that I’d throw a sissy fit!  Best way I can think to describe it.

“That’s what I said.  A ghoul.”  It wasn’t until speech therapy with Mrs. Grout that I began to learn to pronounce that pesky ‘R.’

I was afraid of speaking. I sounded silly.  I knew it.  “Stop making noise just to hear yourself talk!”  My dad would say on car rides.  My parents bought us a tape recorder for Christmas one year, and after hearing myself sing I stopped…when I said “R” in my head it sounded fine but when I heard myself saying it …I sounded…well … as I understood it I had a seizure when I was two, stopped breathing, after a minute or so dad said they heard a soft shooosh leave my lips…They thought I was gone…but then my grandma shook me…and when I started to speak thereafter those r’s came out “wetodded” as I would have said…Grandma thought she had broken my mouthpiece a ‘lil, I fear…

DO NOT FEAR.  I wish I could have told her.  But she was such a little ball of nerves.  She played the Tuba in the Salvation Army Band!  Margaret Ida Anderson Nielsen.


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