24. Chapters

I feel as if we are all characters written into someone Else's script, just waiting to wake up in the present and realize that we can pick up the pen and take control of the narrative.


22. Control

In a stint of soul searching I found myself in a rather a self destructive promiscuous phase post trauma. Because of circumstance I thought my value and worth came through sex.  AND IN THIS STINT I WAS ALARMED BY HOW MEN THOUGHT THAT CONTROL came through violence. Real control in sex is not violence, its... Continue Reading →

18. Emotional Abuse

False Flag Silence IS violent and rage is loud, but sometimes fists hit sand without making a sound. Figure it out. Fake friends are dead ends that see ewe and you and me as a dividend not an investment. And real friends, hope fake friends, get their shit together in the end. Real friends may... Continue Reading →

I Got Guns In My Head

Rear-View Mirror by Emma Bush 2011 My past is right behind me I can feel its breath on my neck I can’t run forever my legs are tired I’m out of breath. So afraid of what would happen should I stop and face it, I keep running, keep running hoping time will erase it. I've... Continue Reading →

My Fight Against Suicidal

I’m suicide, I’m an option. I’m the back door you think of often. You want a way out and I’ve got one. I’m a relief from the hurt and the sorrow. What pains you
 today won’t pain you tomorrow. People will forget and life will go on It won’t be long and the memory of... Continue Reading →

Are YOU De-sensitized?

There was a night when I was five years old that mom found herself having to calm my wide-eyed anxieties...  I had watched the news that day and listened to talk of the possibility of war with Russia... it was probably 1984.  That evening a plane flew over our house and I started crying, afraid... Continue Reading →

13. Self Loathing

Loose cannon, loose cannon, just doing my best with the hand I was handed. PTSD has been a real bitch to me.  Depression and anxiety are nemesis I have to battle daily.  Addiction has been the biggest devil on my shoulder.  There were moments survival looked a lot like dying!  ITS ALL RIGHT IN MY... Continue Reading →


It’s set in motion, you can’t stop it. You can bob and weave, but 
you can’t hip hop it. Its too late, its already started. In your face, your life bombarded. So hang tight! -
Grip firm! -
Stand upright! …get low! Brace yourself, don’t look back, storm IS coming- hurricane attack! Hold TIGHT! Whiplash will pull
... Continue Reading →


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